My Journey to Embracing My Individuality & Self Care

In order for us to truly be confident, we need to love who we are. Truly love ourselves, including the quirky and messy spaces.

Does that mean the messy spaces need to always stay messy? No, not at all. When I was a teen, I was E-MO-TION-AL. Wore my emotions on my sleeve. Drama was the air I breathed. Cried at the drop of a hat. And I didn’t love myself much at that time either, if I’m honest.

Teenage Becky also didn’t know how to take care of herself. To be honest, part of my extreme emotional reactions were because I wasn’t handling stress very well. This became apparent throughout college and my first years teaching.

If I look back and imagine a Becky who loved herself (and not the drama - there’s a distinction) and learned not just how to take care of herself, but to understand doing so is an act of self love and not selfish, I probably wouldn’t have been so dramatic. I probably would have learned to handle myself better.

It took me a while before I learned that I didn’t have to live that way. I had control over my reactions. I could learn how to manage my stress. And it’s taken me even longer to understand that self-care is a part of that process. Back in the early 90s, these weren’t exactly things we talked about. I don’t even think there was therapy or counseling offered in my small town. Mental health wasn’t discussed, at least not in a good way. We just coped in the ways we knew how. And eventually learn as we grow older.

This is why I love working with youth now. Teens are carrying so much more today (I’m looking at you, Social Media!) than I had to in the 90s, but are still wired the same. Fortunately, we can now talk about mental health openly and without shame. I want to help every teen girl and young woman deal with the issues that plague them. The obstacles that are holding them back from becoming their favorite versions of themselves. To help them dream and achieve. And especially leave all of that baggage behind them.

I gathered so much baggage in my youth. Some bags I could readily drop as a young adult. Other bags I’ve clung to very tightly, and even now at the sweet age of 46 I struggle to full put them down and leave them be. I want to pick them up and make them mine again. For this long they’ve become my identity. I don’t want that for today’s youth. I wish I would have had someone who would walk with me, guide me, teach me and challenge me to grow and be better.

What started as a blog post about embracing your individuality and practicing self-care quickly devolved into a piece of my story. These things are special to me because I’ve struggled with them, and still do to some extent. And my heart goes out to those still struggling and those just starting their journey.

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Great Pain Brings Great Love

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How to Talk Through Difficult Things