Goals: How to Make Them Work For You
I love goals. And I hate goals. All at the same time.
Has anyone ever asked you to set a SMART goal? For those of you who do not know, SMART is an acronym that stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. If you are going to set a goal and want to know if you are making progress or wanting to meet that goal, these are all great things to have. I have nothing against these. But the process of creating a goal that meets each of those things has taken forever and left me in tears only to never be discussed again. So, is that a good thing? While I fully support goals, I hold them loosely. Is it achievable? How in the world will I know until I start the process? I don’t want to feel like a failure because I didn’t reach the goal in time or like an idiot because I didn’t realize what was realistic..
Here’s the deal. Goals are good. Goals move us forward in life. Goals help us feel successful and build confidence. But they are a tool. And if you do not use that tool correctly, they can hurt you. (Hello hammer, I’m looking at you!) First, let’s talk about how they can hurt us.
You don’t set a clear goal so you can never fully achieve that goal, leaving you to feel unaccomplished or worse.
You set a goal and are motivated for the first two weeks before you lose interest, leaving you feeling like yet again, you can’t accomplish anything. (Hello, New Year’s Resolutions!)
You meet your goal, but it hasn’t made the difference you thought it would, or worse, backfired.
Let me tell you of a story where I set a goal and it backfired in a way I wasn’t expecting. It’s going to involve losing weight, so I apologize in advance. After I turned 40, I gained the rumored extra 15 pounds. I didn’t really change what I was doing. The problem was that my body changed. It happens and I needed to figure out how to deal with it. And I did. I started tracking my macros as suggested from a well-known menopausal doctor. I set my weight loss goal and got to work. My problem is that I’m competitive with myself. I wanted to do better than the already ambitious goal I set. So I started losing weight, and losing it fast. After a couple of weeks, I was constantly tired. I had no energy. My morning walks became difficult. What’s worse, I started waking up every morning at 2:00am and had trouble getting back to sleep. I’d already done a lot of research on how not eating enough stresses your body, but it still took me a few days of feeling like crap and not sleeping to realize what I was doing and make the needed change. Had I not had the previous knowledge, who knows where I’d be right now.
But we need to set goals in life to live the life we want, otherwise we are floating through life, letting life happen to us. Want to go to travel the world? Then you need to put plans in place to make it happen. Otherwise, it just stays a dream. So how do we do that?
You have to have a goal that you are passionate about and make it as specific as possible (or as specific as you feel is possible).
What drives you? What are you passionate about? What one thing do you want to accomplish to better yourself or help you grow, learn, etc? Maybe you are passionate about wanting to move out of your parents’ house and into your own apartment. Let’s use this one as an example. Your goal might be: Move into my own apartment in 6 months.
If you are not passionate about your goal, chances are that you won’t be able to see it through. If you say you want to quit smoking or vaping, but aren’t really passionate about it, you will not be willing to do the hard work needed to quit. If you are not passionate about moving out, you’ll quit when you have to fill out applications.
2. Break that goal down into a monthly plan that spans 6 months or a year…whatever your timeline is.
You want to move into your own apartment in 6 months. What are the 6 steps you can take to get there. Your list might start like this:
Find available rental properties.
Create a budget for yourself.
Make a list of things you’ll need for the apartment.
Once you have the big items listed, arrange them in order of importance. It would benefit you to research available apartments so you get an idea of how much rent costs. You might find in that process you also need to look for a roommate. I always hold my goals loosely and adapt as I go. I’m sure there are plenty of smart people out there who would disagree with me!
3. What is the most important thing in that list? Tackle it first. Put the rest aside for a moment.
Researching apartments is top of your list to do first. Break that down into smaller pieces. If you land on 4, that’s one smaller goal per week.
Where are you going to look for apartments? What websites are available?
Determine how much space you need and can afford.
Make the decision about whether you need a roommate or not. If you need a roommate, add that to your list and break it down into smaller pieces. How will you find a roommate?
Go to look at apartments.
Now order these in terms of urgency or importance.
4. Take the most urgent from the list above and (you guessed it) break it down into 3 or 4 things you can do THIS WEEK to take a step toward your goal.
Maybe that most urgent goal is to get a feel for what is available in your area and how much it costs to rent. Your goals for this week would be to look on 3 different sites to see what is available and start a list of the things that are important to you. Maybe even drive and check out the areas.
5. Add these items to a calendar or planner to make sure they happen. If needed, have someone hold you accountable.
And repeat this each week with each of those weekly goals.
6. Repeat this process monthly!
And before you know it, you’ll be moving out and living on your own! But what if it takes 9 months instead of 6? The goal is in moving out, not in how long it will take you.
7. Celebrate along the way when you reach certain milestones! Heck, celebrate the smaller ones to!
That will help keep you motivated and moving forward.
The goal here (hahaha) is to put manageable steps in place so you can see THE FIRST STEP needed to start your journey and create a roadmap.
